Recently, my fiancée and I were discussing the use of the “N” word by black people. (FYI, we’re both black). He was saying the usual mumbo jumbo about the word being “adopted” by “us” as a means of embracing it and removing the negative meanings from its use by non-blacks. From my understanding, these are the rules for use of the “N” word:
§ Use “nigga” instead of “nigger”
§ Only black people (and certain approved non-blacks*) can say it
§ White (aka anybody not black) people can’t say “nigga” or “nigger”
I have a few issues with this. My main issue is that this whole “own the word” thing is just downright confusing to many people. To me, it just doesn’t make any sense. In fact, I think it's stupid. While some people may be confused about the rules, I’m more confused about why it’s being done.
I’ve heard a saying somewhere that if one is given a name that they don’t like, the best thing to do is to “embrace” it and make it your own, that way it can’t be used against you. I’m assuming this is the rationale behind “owning” the “N” word. While this tactic may have worked for some, I don’t think it worked this time. From my understanding, once you embrace the name, you’re not supposed to evoke a negative response if someone calls you by that name again, i.e. a white person should be able to call you “nigga” or “nigger” without getting a negative reaction from you. Why? Because you have embraced it as your name, and once people see that they can’t get the response they want, they eventually stop using that name right?
What I see is black people still getting mad when a white person says the words. Honestly, I don’t understand it. I don’t understand why we call each other nigga on TV, on the radio, in the movies, on the corner, etc, and we say we own this word, but as soon as someone else says it, you jump all over them and holler racism? It’s so damn confusing! You don’t hear white people call each other “cracker” and then get mad if a black person says it! You don’t hear Mexicans calling each other “wetbacks!” You know why? Because they don’t want other people thinking it’s ok to say it!
Just imagine if individuals of every race started calling each other by racial slurs. Imagine this scenario:
Just imagine if individuals of every race started calling each other by racial slurs. Imagine this scenario:
White Guy #1: Hey cracker!
White Guy #2: What’s up my cracker?
White Guy #1: Nothing much, just waiting on them [insert name of a hood here]
crackers to call me about the party tonight. Black guy shows up
crackers to call me about the party tonight. Black guy shows up
Black Guy: What’s good, crackers!
White Guy#2: What the hell did you just call us?
Black Guy: Cracker? What’s wrong?
White Guy #1: You can’t call us that….. You bout to get yo’ ass beat down
Black Guy: But y’all call each other that all the time…..I don’t understand…
White Guy#2: It’s not for you to understand, just don’t call us that. We
gonna get mad, even though we call each other that everyday like
it’s all good. We still gonna get mad if you say it.
gonna get mad, even though we call each other that everyday like
it’s all good. We still gonna get mad if you say it.
Black Guy: It doesn’t really make sense, but ok……
“Nigger” has too much history, a history that is still fresh on the mind of many of us, to ever not get a negative reaction when someone uses it. Consequently, I don’t think we as a race are ready to “embrace” it. I think it’s best to leave it alone, go bury it with “crackers said ” and “wetback.” So, if you’re going to keep using it, you shouldn’t be getting mad when its spoken by a confused non-black person.
Note: I don’t like to be called nigga or nigger by anyone, white or black. I don't like being called "nigga" playfully or seriously. Then again, I don’t use it either.
